What does love look like? You may think that love is simply helping someone out and making them feel good. However, this is not always true. Sometimes true love hurts, even wounds the person you care for the most. You see, love is not just what makes people feel good right now; it's more than that. Love does what's ultimately best for that person, regardless of how it makes them feel right now. As a man-pleaser by nature and I struggle with this. Although I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, I should realize that there are times in life where the most loving thing I can do for someone may very well hurt their feelings.
Proverbs 27:5 says, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love." If someone has committed a wrong and is in need of rebuke, the loving thing to do is rebuke them. Feel free to call them out in order to help bring them to repentance. Notice that such "open rebuke" is better than "hidden love." This means that if you don't rebuke them, you're just hiding your love for them. You may genuinely love them and hope for their best, but if you do not do what's best for them (i.e. rebuke them), than your love is hidden from them. In your attempt not to hurt them, you fail to help them.
The next verse is even better. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy." You heard right, faithful friends wound each other. This is because sometimes it's necessary to hurt a friends feelings. Sometimes true love calls for that (i.e. rebuke). Our natural impulse is to affirm people and make them feel better even when they are wrong. However, "profuse are the kisses of an enemy." Don't whisper soft words into their ears or tickle them with false affirmations. That's what enemies do. When someone is someone is having cardiac arrest don't pat them on the back and tell them their doing fine, roll them over and start pounding them on the chest with harsh (but loving) compressions. Their brain needs oxygen, not affirmation.
If a father didn't discipline his son, his son may become spoiled and disobedient. If someone never rebuked his friends, they may continue in unrepentant sin. If a coach never made his players run laps, they may become a losing team. If a general never disciplined his troops, they may lose the war. If God never crucified his Son, Jesus would have never been exalted in the way that He did (cf. Phil. 2:9-11). This list goes on and may be applied to many different scenarios.
This principle of wounding love can and should be considered in every relationship. I don't want you to look for ways to hurt your friends, but I do want you to ask yourself, "What is going to be the most helpful thing to do (or not do) for this person in the long run, even if it may hurt for the time being?"
No comments:
Post a Comment