I walked into Jeremy's room at 11:15pm, wondering whether he was going to be compliant or not. Every night the overnight staff encourages him to use the restroom so that he doesn't wake up wet. After about 5 min. of prompting him to use the restroom, trying to get him out of bed, Jeremy reluctantly moved his stack of blankets off. As soon as he got up I could see a small wet spot on his sheets. They needed to be cleaned. As he went to the bathroom, I changed his sheets. That didn't make him very happy though. He wanted his other one's and argued that they were not dirty. He told me several times that I had no right to wash his laundry and that it was his responsibility. Our debate grew more heated and about 10 min. had gone by since he got back in bed. I couldn't get him to put his cpap mask back on to go to bed. He argues about every little thing. As he got more irritated, I gave him several warnings, threatening to physically restrain him if he didn't stop yelling at staff. He told me that I had no right to "pin him on the floor" and that only his parents could do that. Then he mentioned something off-hand about going somewhere with his mom tomorrow.
At this point, my strategy changed. I shifted my demeanor from an assertive staff to a loving friend. I asked him about his trip with his mom and asked if he was going to have a good day tomorrow. With a little kindness, I was able to convince him that going to bed would enable him to have a good day tomorrow. He finally agreed. In fact, his change in demeanor was almost as fast as mine.
I guess it goes to show that a little love and genuine care can go a lot farther than the most assertive and logical arguments. I hope that being a loving friend is more important to me than being right.
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