Saturday, January 19, 2013

Element of Trust

In my mind, trust may very well be the most important characteristic of a healthy, loving relationship. Trust has many elements, and I'd like to bring up a couple.

First of all, trust is grounded in the past. It's not that you can't choose to trust someone you just met, or recently met, but the more someone proves themselves to be the kind of man or woman who remains true to their word, the more you can trust them. Even when someone abuses your trust, this can be quickly mended if they have a strong track record.

It's interesting that we often seem to trust people for the big things more than the little things. For example, you may trust my word more if I promise to bring your seizure medications than if I promise to bring your mittens. I think the reason is simply because one promise is more important than the other promise. Which is a bigger issue, your life being at stake or your hands being warm?

The irony is that it seems like the little promises (like remembering to teach someone a Spanish song) should be easier to keep than the big promises (like a marriage vow). The truth of the matter is that little promises are easier to fudge on. The first goal is to find a person who cares so much about the reliability of their word that you can trust them to keep even the smallest of promises. The second goal is to be that person for everyone else.

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