Real Men Shed Tears

Often times men have a strong aversion to crying in front of other people. This emotional response is often perceived as unmanly, weak, helpless and quite frankly–pathetic. It's not that men are afraid of expressing emotions altogether. For example, a man rarely avoids expressing anger or frustration. This is because it doesn't make him look weak or insecure in the same way as crying does. On the contrary, anger gives off the impression of strength, will-power, and self-determination.

But weeping is not necessarily a sign of weakness or insecurity. In fact, one of the powerful things about crying is the strong character traits that it demonstrates. Passion. Love. Allegiance. Fervency. Devotion. Drive. Commitment. Investment. These are all manly characteristics which inevitably lead to weeping and sadness whenever the things that we care about are stripped away from us. For what demonstrates more strength? To care about all the things in your life–God, family, church, friends? Or to seek to remain emotionally detached for fear of being hurt, or for fear that someone will see that you are invested in–even dependent on–other people? A real man is one who is invested in the people around him and is willing to experience and express hurt when they are taken away.

So it is manly to be invested in the people around you, and crying because of their death testifies to the fact that you chose to love, to honor and to care for them. But what should that sorrow look like? Shouldn't a man be strong for his family in a time of crisis? Of course he should. But rather than trying to hide the effect that a loss is having on you, you should feel freedom to express your sorrow. You should point your family to your true foundation–the gospel of Jesus Christ. The fact that you are reconciled to God and there is nothing that can change that grounds you. Being strong for your family means showing them that it's a good thing to weep because it demonstrates love. It means leading your family to Christ for stability, asking the church for help, and praying to the Holy Spirit for guidance and peace. All this flows from the fact that the core of manliness is not independence, but dependence. We are strongest when we receive our strength from God rather than trusting in ourselves.

As humans we are designed to depend, and that is when we are free to truly live and lead as men.

Broken Hearts

Since love is that which fills
the heart,
every heart doth
pry apart while
holding onto
every life; every life that dies.
never, then, does life die alone.

But drags a part of all behind
under the sea. And in this way
doth death kill

Lonely lives,
angry souls,
rest as rare as
rubies.
yet there is love; there is hope.

Just as soon
as they are gone,
comfort from our
King doth come


An acronym, in loving memory of my friends Stephen, Bud (grandpa), Larry, and Jack. I miss you all and cannot wait to see you again.

Am I Humble?

Do I trust God for everything?

The heart of humility is acknowledging you utter dependence on God.

Am I grateful for what God has given me?

If you truly recognize God as your sole provider, who supplies you with every good thing that you have, you will be thankful to Him for all of His gifts.

How well do I receive help from others?

Whereas it’s easy to acknowledge your need for God, it’s another thing to acknowledge your need for another person. When God uses someone to pay your rent, buy you lunch, pray for you, babysit your kids, fix your car, or teach you a biblical lesson, how quick are you to receive these gifts with thanksgiving as from the Lord? Stiff-arming help can be a sign of pride.

Do I become envious quickly?

Your level of envy toward others is a practical gauge to see whether or not you are truly grateful for what God has given you. Gratitude and envy don’t really mix.

Am I easily offended?

If you are proud, you will become defensive when someone degrades you. Of course it's never fun when someone puts you down, but humility doesn't feel the need to defend its own reputation (e.g. Jesus on earth).

Am I able to acknowledge my strengths without boasting?

The key to humility is not pretending that you don’t have strengths or trying to diminish them. Rather, if God has truly gifted you in an area (and He does give Christians spiritual gifts) then you are allowed to be honest and as objective as possible about that. In fact, it is a sign of ingratitude when you try to ignore or diminish the gift that you have received from God as if it was not even given but self derived.

Would I care if no one ever recognized my gifts and strengths?

Humility is being able to wait for the recognition of one’s gifts and the exaltation that ensues. It is not seeking out how one’s strengths might be made visible here and now at every possible moment.

Can I ponder my weaknesses without becoming hopeless? 

If you come to the end of your strength and find that you have no hope whatsoever, then you are probably putting your hope in your own strength. Weakness is a constant and necessary reminder that we need God for everything. When we come to the end of ourselves, our hope in God and dependence on Him should only be strengthened. Weakness is the garden of humility. So how do you handle situations that draw out your weaknesses? 

Do I always need to make my opinion known? 
Social media has revealed that everyone has an opinion and wants it to be heard. The ability to remain silent when wisdom calls can be a sign that you don't feel the need to defend yourself. 

Love's Hinge

I recited this poem to Emily today as a sequel to the proposal poem. It seeks to express how our relationship/love changed after getting engaged and expressing love and lifelong commitment toward one another for the first time. 

Love’s Hinge

A question,

An answer.

Everything changes, 

Nothing changes. 

I fall in love, 

In love was I.

And on that starry night 

Did fall 

Into a river;

A coursing river

Course unchanged, 

Newly found

And yet the same. 

When did I fall? 

A question,

An answer.

Everything changes, 

Nothing changes. 

I fall in love, 

In love was I.

And on that sunny morning

Did something hatch; 

Soft, warm feathers

Betray a lifeless source, 

Newly born

And yet the same. 

When was it born?

A question,

An answer.

Everything changes, 

Nothing changes. 

I fall in love, 

In love was I.

And on that windy autumn day

An oyster’s mouth did open; 

A pearl of beauty

Grown unseen

Changes not,

Yet newly beams.

When did it shine?

To fall, to hatch, to shine;

To love. 

Within a moment

To change the changeless course

We trod. 

My love for you

Is not the same; 

My love for you 

Is not different.

I love you.

Proposal Poem

Here’s a Question

I love you, Emily

I love you. 

These three words I’ve longed to say, 

But did delay

That they might prove even sweeter. 

Like a pearl within an oyster, 

The beauty of this phrase 

Grows and thrives

Enclosed in words unspoken; 

Within my heart abides

Such love for you

It cannot be hidden

It should not be hidden

It will not be hidden

I love you. 

And if you find within your heart

A pearl of likened beauty

Which from the start 

Did grow unseen, 

I ask you, “Will you marry me?” 

Big Brother and Big Sister

Before I forget the unwritten poem. ;) Thank you Daniel and Christina for all that you have done in my life. I see you as my older siblings not only for age but also for maturity and godliness. Thank you for modelling Christ and pointing me to Him.


Big brother and big sister
Thank you for showing me
The wounds of our big Brother
Hanging on the tree

Big brother and big sister
What more is there to say?
You've helped me see the risen Christ
I say to you this day,
"Thank you."

Christ the God-Man

The Mediator between God and men must be both God and man. There is none other than God who can bring us up to Him. Yet God cannot bring us to Himself apart from living out our obedience, suffering, and dying as a man on our behalf. Jesus could not suffer and die without being man, yet he could not pay the infinite ransom required for our offense against the infinite God without being God himself. None but God can pay an infinite ransom, yet man must be the one to pay it. Blood must be slain, yet God cannot die. Turretin says that Jesus must be “Man to suffer, God to overcome; man to receive the punishment we deserved, God to endure and drink it to the dregs; man to acquire salvation for us by dying, God to apply it to us by overcoming . . . this neither a mere man nor God alone could do.” The hypostatic union makes Christ as Mediator possible. He represents man to God and God to man. He is Immanuel, God with us.