Wanted

who is it?
who is it that I want
to be with?

not him–who
witty though he be
does not even like me

not her–whose
beauty masks an
inward spite
whose popularity promises pleasure
to those who accompany her,
but such outward treasure
is betrayed by her eerie lack
of heart

not him–who
claims he wants to,
yet isn’t there.
he isn’t there
he doesn’t care
while reassuring words
accompany you,
deep down you know
that he doesn’t want to
he doesn’t want
to be there with you

not her–whose money,
well, let money give its
own account
we all know it’s worth
but what is it worth
to me?
for whether I own it or not,
is not true worth
defined by want?
and if those wanting me
want me not
whilst I am
wanting of it,
they do not want me
they want it.

who is it?
who is it that I want
to be with?

them–who
at any time, in any way
want me.

Death Doth Kill

This poem was written in loving memory of four friends. The first letter of each line is an acronym spelling out their names: Stephen (roommate), bud (grandpa), Larry, and Jack. I am fortunate to have known each of these wonderful men.

Since love is that which fills
The heart,
Every heart doth
Pry apart while
Holding on to
Every life, every life that dies.
Never, then, does life die alone.
But drags a piece of all behind
Under the sea. And in this way
Death doth kill.
Lonely lives,
Angry souls,
Rest as rare as
Rubies.
Yet there is love, there is hope.
Just as sure
As they are gone,
Comfort from our
King will come.

Mother and Child

Hidden. hidden

From her eyes

A little baby boy now lies

Unseen.

Inside. inside

Her loving womb

Not a tomb

Is life.

Her. her

Smile lingers

A boy with God’s own fingers

Made.

Heart. heart

Can stream with fickle tide

But not toward him inside

Of her.

Real Men Shed Tears

Often times men have a strong aversion to crying in front of other people. This emotional response is often perceived as unmanly, weak, helpless and quite frankly–pathetic. It's not that men are afraid of expressing emotions altogether. For example, a man rarely avoids expressing anger or frustration. This is because it doesn't make him look weak or insecure in the same way as crying does. On the contrary, anger gives off the impression of strength, will-power, and self-determination.

But weeping is not necessarily a sign of weakness or insecurity. In fact, one of the powerful things about crying is the strong character traits that it demonstrates. Passion. Love. Allegiance. Fervency. Devotion. Drive. Commitment. Investment. These are all manly characteristics which inevitably lead to weeping and sadness whenever the things that we care about are stripped away from us. For what demonstrates more strength? To care about all the things in your life–God, family, church, friends? Or to seek to remain emotionally detached for fear of being hurt, or for fear that someone will see that you are invested in–even dependent on–other people? A real man is one who is invested in the people around him and is willing to experience and express hurt when they are taken away.

So it is manly to be invested in the people around you, and crying because of their death testifies to the fact that you chose to love, to honor and to care for them. But what should that sorrow look like? Shouldn't a man be strong for his family in a time of crisis? Of course he should. But rather than trying to hide the effect that a loss is having on you, you should feel freedom to express your sorrow. You should point your family to your true foundation–the gospel of Jesus Christ. The fact that you are reconciled to God and there is nothing that can change that grounds you. Being strong for your family means showing them that it's a good thing to weep because it demonstrates love. It means leading your family to Christ for stability, asking the church for help, and praying to the Holy Spirit for guidance and peace. All this flows from the fact that the core of manliness is not independence, but dependence. We are strongest when we receive our strength from God rather than trusting in ourselves.

As humans we are designed to depend, and that is when we are free to truly live and lead as men.

Broken Hearts

Since love is that which fills
the heart,
every heart doth
pry apart while
holding onto
every life; every life that dies.
never, then, does life die alone.

But drags a part of all behind
under the sea. And in this way
doth death kill

Lonely lives,
angry souls,
rest as rare as
rubies.
yet there is love; there is hope.

Just as soon
as they are gone,
comfort from our
King doth come


An acronym, in loving memory of my friends Stephen, Bud (grandpa), Larry, and Jack. I miss you all and cannot wait to see you again.

Am I Humble?

Do I trust God for everything?

The heart of humility is acknowledging you utter dependence on God.

Am I grateful for what God has given me?

If you truly recognize God as your sole provider, who supplies you with every good thing that you have, you will be thankful to Him for all of His gifts.

How well do I receive help from others?

Whereas it’s easy to acknowledge your need for God, it’s another thing to acknowledge your need for another person. When God uses someone to pay your rent, buy you lunch, pray for you, babysit your kids, fix your car, or teach you a biblical lesson, how quick are you to receive these gifts with thanksgiving as from the Lord? Stiff-arming help can be a sign of pride.

Do I become envious quickly?

Your level of envy toward others is a practical gauge to see whether or not you are truly grateful for what God has given you. Gratitude and envy don’t really mix.

Am I easily offended?

If you are proud, you will become defensive when someone degrades you. Of course it's never fun when someone puts you down, but humility doesn't feel the need to defend its own reputation (e.g. Jesus on earth).

Am I able to acknowledge my strengths without boasting?

The key to humility is not pretending that you don’t have strengths or trying to diminish them. Rather, if God has truly gifted you in an area (and He does give Christians spiritual gifts) then you are allowed to be honest and as objective as possible about that. In fact, it is a sign of ingratitude when you try to ignore or diminish the gift that you have received from God as if it was not even given but self derived.

Would I care if no one ever recognized my gifts and strengths?

Humility is being able to wait for the recognition of one’s gifts and the exaltation that ensues. It is not seeking out how one’s strengths might be made visible here and now at every possible moment.

Can I ponder my weaknesses without becoming hopeless? 

If you come to the end of your strength and find that you have no hope whatsoever, then you are probably putting your hope in your own strength. Weakness is a constant and necessary reminder that we need God for everything. When we come to the end of ourselves, our hope in God and dependence on Him should only be strengthened. Weakness is the garden of humility. So how do you handle situations that draw out your weaknesses? 

Do I always need to make my opinion known? 
Social media has revealed that everyone has an opinion and wants it to be heard. The ability to remain silent when wisdom calls can be a sign that you don't feel the need to defend yourself. 

Love's Hinge

I recited this poem to Emily today as a sequel to the proposal poem. It seeks to express how our relationship/love changed after getting engaged and expressing love and lifelong commitment toward one another for the first time. 

Love’s Hinge

A question,

An answer.

Everything changes, 

Nothing changes. 

I fall in love, 

In love was I.

And on that starry night 

Did fall 

Into a river;

A coursing river

Course unchanged, 

Newly found

And yet the same. 

When did I fall? 

A question,

An answer.

Everything changes, 

Nothing changes. 

I fall in love, 

In love was I.

And on that sunny morning

Did something hatch; 

Soft, warm feathers

Betray a lifeless source, 

Newly born

And yet the same. 

When was it born?

A question,

An answer.

Everything changes, 

Nothing changes. 

I fall in love, 

In love was I.

And on that windy autumn day

An oyster’s mouth did open; 

A pearl of beauty

Grown unseen

Changes not,

Yet newly beams.

When did it shine?

To fall, to hatch, to shine;

To love. 

Within a moment

To change the changeless course

We trod. 

My love for you

Is not the same; 

My love for you 

Is not different.

I love you.